the path to success

 

One cannot argue that the definition of success has evolved over the past few decades. In fact, it has evolved so much that "success" is really what you make of it. Before, success and the "American Dream" was mostly about the ability to provide for your family; now, for many, success is security, or following your dream, or being debt-free, or mastering a new language, or...the list goes on. Whether you are in your teens, twenties, or thirties, you have an idea of what success means to you, even if you don't have all the details hammered out. Obviously, success is defined differently by all age groups, social groups, and by generations; in the end, we all want success, whatever our definition.

Today I stumbled upon a HBR article called The Best Path to Success is Your Own. I was drawn to it because of its title, in all of its simplicity and truth. Of course the best path to success is your own! We all value different things, and so one's idea of success may not be another person's idea of success. That's why we are encouraged to follow our own hearts, not the hearts of others. I found this paragraph from the article pretty brilliant: 

"Hence many are taking either route [corporate or entrepreneurial], for different reasons — to follow their passion, to prove themselves, to serve others, to gain recognition. Not everyone is a conformist who joins a big firm. Not all Zuckerberg wannabes are following their bliss. It's not the choice of workplace that matters most. It's why we make it, and what we do with it." (emphasis mine)

Yesterday I called home because of Mother's Day. It also happened to be my brother's graduation, so the whole family was together to celebrate both occasions. In the 11 minutes 23 seconds-long conversation (in which I spoke to all 4 members of the family + my sister's fiance), the eternal question of, "When are you coming home"? came up more than I can count. I have to admit that this question often frustrates me. I know that people ask me to come home because they miss me, but do they know and realize that I also miss them? Do they know that it's not always easy being thousands of miles away from home, but I continue in this line of work because this is the path to my success?

If we follow the path that belongs to someone else, no matter how "successful" it is, we will never experience the kind of success that was meant for us. For my father, perhaps his success is in immigrating to America, learning the English language, and being the boss of a successful company that he created despite all the hardships he faced. For my mother, perhaps her success is in raising three children with unrelenting love and attention. But these are not my successes. Even if I achieved all this, I would not feel success.

The path to success is our own. While it can be shaped by others, it cannot be dictated by others. We must discover it, and take it upon ourselves to choose it as our path. Some days we will walk, some days we will run, and some days, even, we may get lost and have to retrace our steps. However we move towards success, in the end, the only thing that matters is that the path to success is our own - this, we must not forget.