birthday wishes!

I was out of town for the past few days, and when I returned, I had a birthday package waiting for me from my parents! When living abroad, packages literally are the highlight of the day (and maybe event the week), and so naturally, I was very excited to open it. 

The handmade birthday card and the smiley-face balloon are pretty awesome, huh? Yep, I thought so too when I saw them. To make things better, at the bottom of the box, I found a Chinese red envelope! For those of you who are Chinese or are familiar with Chinese traditions, you know that a red envelope is a very good thing, because a red envelope is always meant for gifting money...                         

...or so I thought. I opened my envelope excitedly, thinking about the endless possibilities one could do with some extra cash, but instead of finding money, I found a card with a Bible verse on it.  Needless to say, slightly disappointing. Oh well. At least it was a good verse: The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs and will strengthen your fame. Isaiah 58:11. Perhaps I'll have better luck with the red envelope next year.  =)

Anyway, with a box full of delightful treats from America, I couldn't be happier! Thanks mom and dad for thinking about me!

red light, green light, 1, 2, 3.

Remember that game we used to play as children? The one where one person went to one side of the room, or the field (or whatever the space was), and everyone else lined up on the other side? And the point was to run towards the person on the other side while he or she yelled out "red light, green light, 1, 2..." and you had to freeze after "3"? And whoever got to the other side first would be the winner? Remember?

Well, I do. And that's how I've been feeling lately - like I'm playing that childhood game, fluctuating between the frenzied combination of running and stopping, trying desperately to hear the cries of "red light, green light..." so that I can once again run because I am tired of waiting.

Let me explain.  Our American culture has trained us to always go, go, go. To always be on the move, to rush things that shouldn't be rushed, to strive for instant gratification. When was the last time we stopped to observe life around us? When was the last time we sat in silence, and tried to hear the soft whisperings of our heart? When was the last time we embraced the beauty of nothingness and just savored the moment? If we are honest with ourselves, it's probably been a long time. And why? Because most of us have this innate craving to fill quietness with noise, to overcome stillness with action, to replace patience with productivity.

Lately, I have felt the monotony of life creep in ever so slowly. I am in a bit of a lull in my work, and I have to admit that it is making me extremely restless in all areas of my life. When I explained my woes to a good friend of mine, she reminded me to enjoy the present for what it is, and to find relaxation within it. So, starting today, I am trying to take her words to heart and internalize the idea of just "being," whatever that may mean.

Our childhood games teach us to wait in anticipation for the next big move in our lives. Rarely are we encouraged by our culture to stop and smell the roses (minus a few greeting cards here and there). We need to learn to appreciate the time in between the "red light, green lights," even if it requires every ounce of our bodies to fight against the temptation to fill quietness with noise, or to overcome stillness with action. It's not always easy to relish the moments of stillness in our lives, but in doing so, we can regain the energy and focus needed to run when the time is right again.

surely we can change

I was walking to work today, with ipod in hand, and a song came up in my shuffle. It was David Crowder's Surely We Can Change. The lyrics, which I guess I've never paid attention to, suddenly hit me, and it reminded me of the convictions I had when I first felt called to pursue a career in the field of international development. Even the most committed of us need a reminder every now and then to keep us motivated, and personally, this reminder couldn't have come at a better time. So, here they are lyrics - I hope they give you a bit of inspiration today:  

And the problem is this
We were bought with a kiss
But the cheek still turned
Even when it wasn’t hit

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that

When all the love in the world
Is right here among us
And hatred too
And so we must choose
What our hands will do

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

Oh, the world’s about to change
The whole world’s about to change

the path to success

 

One cannot argue that the definition of success has evolved over the past few decades. In fact, it has evolved so much that "success" is really what you make of it. Before, success and the "American Dream" was mostly about the ability to provide for your family; now, for many, success is security, or following your dream, or being debt-free, or mastering a new language, or...the list goes on. Whether you are in your teens, twenties, or thirties, you have an idea of what success means to you, even if you don't have all the details hammered out. Obviously, success is defined differently by all age groups, social groups, and by generations; in the end, we all want success, whatever our definition.

Today I stumbled upon a HBR article called The Best Path to Success is Your Own. I was drawn to it because of its title, in all of its simplicity and truth. Of course the best path to success is your own! We all value different things, and so one's idea of success may not be another person's idea of success. That's why we are encouraged to follow our own hearts, not the hearts of others. I found this paragraph from the article pretty brilliant: 

"Hence many are taking either route [corporate or entrepreneurial], for different reasons — to follow their passion, to prove themselves, to serve others, to gain recognition. Not everyone is a conformist who joins a big firm. Not all Zuckerberg wannabes are following their bliss. It's not the choice of workplace that matters most. It's why we make it, and what we do with it." (emphasis mine)

Yesterday I called home because of Mother's Day. It also happened to be my brother's graduation, so the whole family was together to celebrate both occasions. In the 11 minutes 23 seconds-long conversation (in which I spoke to all 4 members of the family + my sister's fiance), the eternal question of, "When are you coming home"? came up more than I can count. I have to admit that this question often frustrates me. I know that people ask me to come home because they miss me, but do they know and realize that I also miss them? Do they know that it's not always easy being thousands of miles away from home, but I continue in this line of work because this is the path to my success?

If we follow the path that belongs to someone else, no matter how "successful" it is, we will never experience the kind of success that was meant for us. For my father, perhaps his success is in immigrating to America, learning the English language, and being the boss of a successful company that he created despite all the hardships he faced. For my mother, perhaps her success is in raising three children with unrelenting love and attention. But these are not my successes. Even if I achieved all this, I would not feel success.

The path to success is our own. While it can be shaped by others, it cannot be dictated by others. We must discover it, and take it upon ourselves to choose it as our path. Some days we will walk, some days we will run, and some days, even, we may get lost and have to retrace our steps. However we move towards success, in the end, the only thing that matters is that the path to success is our own - this, we must not forget.