Homecoming Thoughts from Afar

Photography by Mehves Konuk

I received a confirmation for my flight back home to America yesterday.

December still feels a long way away, but I am excited to return home (if only for a while) to reconnect with friends, family, and to simply enjoy the things I've missed while being overseas.

This morning I got a link for a blog post about the unavoidable question from friends and family of, "So, what did you accomplish, really?" upon arriving home from working overseas. The title of the post intrigued me, especially as I have already begun mentally preparing for my transition out of East Africa. Reading the post got me thinking about the first time I travled abroad for work, back in 2008, when my journey of international development really began. I remember going with such lofty expectations of the things I would be able to accomplish there, the lives that I could change, the impact I could make. Well, when the end of the year came, I was disheartened by the fact that I had not really met any of my goals - at least to the extent that I had hoped for. So what did I do? I decided to stay another year, hoping that an additional 12 months of overseas work would create some of the "success stories" that I so longed to bring home.

Needless to say, at the end of yet another year, there were no huge success stories, no life-changing events, no big accomplishments, that I was able to claim responsibility for. Did this mean that no good came out of my time spent abroad? No. Did this mean that lives were not impacted and changed from the interactions that we had? No. Did this mean I had wasted two years of my life? No.

What it did mean, however, and what it exposed, is that so often we get caught up in the big accomplishments that we fail to see the little accomplishments that actually do occur. The small, seemingly incidental, yet influential moments that are just the beginnings, or middles, of what is yet to come. If we - religious or not - live life believing that everything has a purpose, that everything that happens is meant to happen, then we cannot reject the "small" impacts that eventually culminate into the final product. If everything is connected, and every experience helps shape someone - or something - then everything we do indeed has meaning and contributes to ultimate change.

I have been working in East Africa for the past 15 months. As my time draws nearer to its end, I find myself involuntarily reflecting on all of the people and "things" that I have been a part of. The part of me that seeks achievement and longs for recognition searches high and low for anything that I can bring back home to talk about. After all, no one really wants to hear about the struggles and hardships of the year. Few people want to hear about the trial and error (especially the error) of activities and projects conducted. Yet, these are the very things from which change occurs. These are the very things from which we learn, and grow - the process - that ultimately helps reach the goals that we have set for others and ourselves. So why is it that we don't work harder to bring to light these parts of our work experience, regardless of where we work and what we do? Why is it that no one ever asks about the process, yet are so interested in knowing the outcome?

I cannot answer these questions in full. So, in the meantime, I can work to change my personal expectations and perspective about the work I do overseas. After my initial "unsuccessful" years abroad, I realized, and really learned to understand (perhaps even a little too late) that change is indeed a process. And, if we are unwilling to focus on and invest in the process, then we really shouldn't expect to get the results that we are looking for. Homecoming may always continue to be associated with an overwhelming number of questions about our activities and accomplishments, but we will always have the choice to fight the need for recognition, and to shed light on the journey and process, even if the results don't scream success.